Awkward Family Photo

This is a photograph of a family of four. Each child is sitting on the lap of his parent. This photo has one main focal point. That is the mother is yawning while the rest of the family has awkward looks on their faces. I believe this photo has a longer story behind it. Clearly this should not have been the photo that the family chose to hang up on their wall in a picture frame. It leaves the observer asking why they did not take another picture. As a son who has taken family photos, I am skeptical of this picture because I know that if my family took a picture like this, my mother would make sure it is never seen.

Introductions and Conclusions

The introduction of my paper begins with a sentence that is relatable to most people. This is a good way to draw in the the reader because one would be more inclined to read something that can pertain to them. I also use a lot od descriptions which can make it more interesting by making it easier for the reader to imagine what it was like for me when i first heard Blink 182. Because my paper is partly a story about my life, my conclusion kind of leaves the reader hanging. The reason I did this is because I am writing about how Blink 182 has influenced me up until now. I also conclude by stating the best lesson I have learned from listening to Blink 182. I believe this puts the paper to rest because I make it evident to the reader once more about the impact that Blink has had on me. According to the handbook the conclusion should answer the question "so what?". I believe in my conclusion I answer the question, by overall reflecting on the lessons that I have learned from the band.

Reflections on the Third Draft Peer Review

This peer review went exceptionally well. I added a lot more to my draft since the last review, in terms of how I analyzed Blink 182’s impact on how I view the world. What I was worried about going into today’s class, was whether or not I analyzed this enough. My peer reviewer actually told me that I did a good job thoroughly analyzing how the band has influenced my life, so I am happy with that. My reviewer, however, pointed out a few parts of my paper that still needed a little more explanation. For the most part, aside from a few small mistakes in my writing, this is what I will mainly focus on changing. I also got a lot out of reading someone else’s draft. Looking at how someone else approached the assignment gave me insight into my own writing, by seeing other ideas and a different style of writing. 

Paper Changes

After discussing some of the feedback, and reflecting on our papers, I now have a better idea of how I will further analyze my paper. I now realize that must elaborate more on the story I am telling. I will do this more at the end of my paper as a sort of conclusion analysis. I want my paper to be more about how Blink 182 has influenced my life, and how they have changed while I have changed. I definitely need to elaborate more on the reuniting of Blink 182 and how that came at a very frustrating part of my life. I also need to talk more in detail about how I was influenced as a song writer and singer by Blink 182. Since I do not go into much detail about the Blink 182 shows that I have seen I am going to describe them more in detail, and draw parallels about what I saw onstage, and how I related to their new mature style.

Reflections of a Class Blogger

Blogging about class today was an intimidating, yet very rewarding experience. I made sure to focus in, especially hard, on the class conversation, and the main ideas that the teacher was trying to get across to the class. I thought that this was the most important aspect to pay attention to, because I felt like it was my duty to provide details about class, just in case someone was not there and needed to access the material. I decided to take pictures mainly to add an extra visual affect, and to make my blog seem more appealing to the reader. Being the class blogger changed my perspective of the classroom because it forced me to look at class as more of a story or an adventure than just another class where everyone is just going through the motions. I got a lot out of being the class blogger, and I am glad I had this experience.

Class Blogger for the Day

Today Ms. Lang started class on a light note by asking us what our least favorite color was, as a way to take attendance. It appears that yellow is the popular color to dislike. We then got right down to business and discussed the assigned reading on how to respond to reviewing other peoples’ writing. The talk stressed the importance of constructive criticism, understanding the writer’s goals by having a conversation with the writer, and not worrying about correcting grammar. By the end of the discussion, we were eager and ready to start reviewing what our peers had come up with for our “discovery draft”. After splitting up into groups of three, we took a few minutes to brainstorm questions that we would want our reviewers to respond to. Then, we exchanged drafts and began reading what our classmates had written, while taking ten minutes to talk about what that person wrote. We talked to our peers about how their paper was going to flow, the transitions that they planned on using, and how we could further develop our ideas to make the content of the paper more descriptive and overall better. Of course no class would be complete without writing a blog, so Ms. Lang challenged us to reflect on the writing workshop that we had just participated in, and blog about the feedback we received from our group. We thought about what advice was and wasn’t helpful, and what we will include in our next draft. Overall, class today was devoted to challenging us to think more about the goals of our paper. By working in groups and getting feedback from other people, we were forced to think about our work in a much different perspective. Although this is still part of one of the beginning stages in the writing process, it is certainly a crucial one because it can make the difference in whether the paper is interesting to read, or just another college paper that was written the night before class without much thought. Class concluded with the announcement that our homework is to read an article about identifying plagiarism, which can be found on the class blog.



Ms. Lang teaching us about reviewing drafts:

 

 

 

Students hard at work in the writing workshop:

 

First Peer Review Workshop

The workshop in class challenged me to apply what I had learned in the reading about peer reviewing and responding to my classmates' papers. I also received a good amount of feedback that will help me to develop my paper. The most helpful comment I received was whether or not I would be able to talk about Blink 182 for 4-6 pages. After thinking about it, I realized this task was definitely possible but would require much further thinking. I realized I had to relate my history with Blink 182 on totally different kinds of levels. For example, I thought about how the cover art has matured as the band has grown older, as well as how their sound has matured. I realized I could relate this maturation to my own experience growing up and going from middle school to high school and then to college. The advice my peers gave me has helped me think about my narrative on a much deeper level, which is exactly what peer responding is all about. My next draft will be much more developed and interesting because of the advice I received from my classmates.